What a Difference a Decade Makes.

I remember back when I graduated from high school the world seemed to be my oyster. I had good test scores and a good GPA, 3.5. I got accepted into the schools I wanted to go to, the military really wanted me and told me I had my pick of just about any program. The world was going to be mine. Now a 10 (OK 12) years later things seemed to have changed.

I finally finished College and got my degree in Psychology. This time my GPA was average at best and my test scores (while pretty much the same from high school) have changed from great to average. Now I couldn't get into any of the grad schools I applied to. I can't join the Air Force, and it seems like I have to jump through more hoops to get into a program in the Army that I would like. On top of all that it seems hard to find a job. A Bachelors in Psychology seems to be almost worthless. I am not quite qualified for anything, other than fast food.

Is it me, have I over the years become or have made myself less desirable. Have the times just changed making it harder. Or maybe just my perception of the world has changed and I am beginning to see the world for how it really is.

My greatest fear.

I was asked in an interview today what my greatest fear was, to which I responded failure. After having some time to reflect on that I have come to realize it's not really failure I am afraid of, it is not succeeding, ever. While realted they are not the same thing. One still has the possiblity of later success and happiness that other only leads to dispare (which I consider the loss of hope). That is my fear, to work this hard and never be able to achieve that which I aspire to, To work and work and never reach my goal. I don't want to end up like poor Tantalus.
"Tantalus's punishment, now proverbial for temptation without satisfaction (the source of the English word "tantalizing"[10]), was to stand in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches. Whenever he reached for the fruit, the branches raised his intended meal from his grasp. Whenever he bent down to get a drink, the water receded before he could get any."
I fear of working this hard and getting so close to my dreams to only have them receed from my reach and I never be able to reach them. That the light appears at the end of the tunnel but never gets any closer.
While I may have my fears, I will not let them paralyze me for hope and faith are often all I have. I have to trust that things will work out in the end.
Recently I have had cause for hope. Today I completed two interviews, one for grad school and one for the job. While the job interview did not work I have not lost hope. I still have the other, which I should find out about in the next two weeks. If that doesn't work out than I'll tr again with someone/somewhere else. Even if they reject me it has still giving me hope and has made the light grow a little closer.

5 Seconds of Fame

Yesterday I attended a NCAA Basketball Tournament selection party at my school, to join in with other fans to find out what seed we would get and whom we will play and where. I was a bit disappointed to receive a 16 seed and find out we're playing basketball powerhouse UNC Tar Heels. While I do have faith in my team that they can pull off the upset and shock the world, the realist in me also realizes that Radford will more than likely lose its first round game and be once again forgotten by the rest of the nation. That does not matter because I can still hold my head high and say we made it, and be proud of my team, after all where is Virginia Tech?
Going to the party also had one other benefit, the local cbs affiliate, wdbj 7, was there interviewing fans, alumni, and players and I was one of the people interviewed. While I did end up on the 11 o'clock news it was very brief and my name wasn't put up :(. Of course I said more than what they showed but they only used two sound bits totalling about 3-5 seconds. I'll take what I can get. Follow the link below if you would like to very the news story in which I appear.

http://www.wdbj7.com/Global/story.asp?S=10010070

The first time I appear its easy to see because you can see my face. The second time I am talking about the Dread the Red shirts so they are showing the shirt and you can't see my face.

Some People are Just Jerks

I was working as usual at my job at Fazoli's. It was later in the afternoon and thing were slow. We'd been having a problem with the heat in the dinning room and I have been listening to guest complain about being cold all week (it wasn't that cold out there). This family comes in to eat and the father immediately begins to complain about it being a little cold in here.
"It's a little chilly, in here", a short pause "don't you guys have heat?"
To which I respond in a very jokingly manner "Nah, I refuse to turn it on, I'm always hot even when everyone else in cold."
To which he somehow took offense "I'm not going to take this lets go" and began directing a somewhat confused wife and son out the door.
"You know I was joking right" I called has he was forcing his family out the restaurant.
"Yeah, I just didn't like your comment." he says before exiting.
I guess some people are just born without a sense of humor a turn out to total jerks. Maybe he was having a bad day, after all he was wearing a UVA sweater. Ethier way he comes off looking like a total B-hole to me and to his family.

A TIme to Dance

This last week I was personally able to witness something that has only happened one other time, 11 years ago. I watched in person has my Radford University Highlanders won the Big South Conference Tournament earning a ticket to Big Dance. That is the NCAA Championship Basketball (March Madness) tournament to the layman.
It was a lot of fun and very exciting to be there and watch it happen. I felt pride and joy, for my school and my team. I loved watching the Belorussian Beast, Art Parakhouski, dominate the lesser opponents and lead our team to victory. It was great to be apart of the raucous crowd and be able to cheer my team to victory. I look forward to watching my team on the national scene as they play in the opening round. Regardless of who they play or whether or not they win, it'll be great to watch. I'll be sure to wear my dancing shoes.
GO RU!!!!!!!

My First Career Fair

Today I decided to skip class, which I didn't really want to do, to attend a career fair at the Salem Civic Center. There I roamed around trying to act like I knew what I was doing and trying to look all sure of myself and professional. I talked with a few companies/recruiters and gave out some resumes in hopes of maybe scoring an interview or maybe even a job. The pickings where a bit slim for what I was looking for but there were some employers there that caught my interest. Blue Ridge Behavioral Health, Family Preservation Services, Project Horizon Inc., Veterans Affairs, and Carilion. Also there was another employer that could provide a job for the summer that would give me much needed experience in the field, Virginia Camp Jaycees. However that could involve me having to spend a summer away from my wife.
All-in-all it was a new and interesting experience and I hope something comes of it, especially if grad school does not work out. I am really hoping that the fact that I speak Spanish helps put me in front of the pack. Well I know one of the people I talked to will call, that would be the U.S. Army, they always call.

Sheldonisms

One of my favorite shows on TV is the hit comedy "The Big Bang Theory." One of the characters from that show is Sheldon Cooper, a brilliant theoretical physicist, child prodigy, and self proclaimed smartest man on the planet . However the social world completely escapes his grasp and he often challenges others patients with his idiosyncrasies and quirks, many stemming from his OCD. Anyway, he says some of the funniest things in the show and says them in the dorkiest, long winded and scientific way possible. Here are few of my favorite Sheldon quotes. (These are funnier when you can put them in context with the show.)

"Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale."

"There wouldn't have been any @$$ kickings if that stupid death ray had worked."

"Oh, Do you realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?I'm sorry."

"Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?"

"No, I’m going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced weapon systems."

"While Mr. Kim, by virtue of youth and naiveté, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me."

"Yes, well, I’m polymerized tree sap and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you."

"What computer do you have? And please don't say "a white one."

"Engineering: where the noble semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Ooompa-Loompas of science."