Sheldonisms

One of my favorite shows on TV is the hit comedy "The Big Bang Theory." One of the characters from that show is Sheldon Cooper, a brilliant theoretical physicist, child prodigy, and self proclaimed smartest man on the planet . However the social world completely escapes his grasp and he often challenges others patients with his idiosyncrasies and quirks, many stemming from his OCD. Anyway, he says some of the funniest things in the show and says them in the dorkiest, long winded and scientific way possible. Here are few of my favorite Sheldon quotes. (These are funnier when you can put them in context with the show.)

"Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale."

"There wouldn't have been any @$$ kickings if that stupid death ray had worked."

"Oh, Do you realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?I'm sorry."

"Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?"

"No, I’m going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced weapon systems."

"While Mr. Kim, by virtue of youth and naiveté, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me."

"Yes, well, I’m polymerized tree sap and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you."

"What computer do you have? And please don't say "a white one."

"Engineering: where the noble semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Ooompa-Loompas of science."